Episode 45: Focus on Mental Health

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EPISODE 45: Focus on Mental Health

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00:00:00:00

Carers Qld voiceover

Choice and Control is a podcast celebrating meaningful inclusion of people with disability in our communities, brought to you by Carers Queensland, your NDIS Local area coordination partner in the community. Each episode provides a conversation space for people with disability, their families and carers, to share their stories with you. We also hear from members of the wider community, local businesses and community leaders who share information, ideas and possibilities to give you more opportunity and more choice and control in life.

00:00:40:00

Tracy (interviewer)

Every year we get to shine a light on mental health for Qld Mental Health week – a time to raise awareness, find belonging and stay connected.  At Carers Queensland, we support people with disability, their carers and family to connect with local community groups and supports… promoting greater access to social and recreational community activities.

In this episode, we hear from two NDIS participants who have kindly shared their experience of living with mental health and how the NDIS has changed their lives for the better.

00:01:13:00

Tracy (introduction)

At 54 years of age, Michelle has works part-time in childcare, participates in her local community and is researching the experience of women with mental health throughout history, with plans to write a book one day. We started by asking Michelle about her lived experience of mental health and the process of reaching out to Carer’s Qld for NDIS support.

00:01:32:11

Michelle (interviewee)

Looking back depression and anxiety, I mean, I've had PTSD probably since I was a young child and I've had some things, you know, how you go and you have a really bad time, and you might get some help from the doctor. You might even go to a therapist, and then you go, okay, I'm feeling better t I should be able to manage now. And each time I had a dip, it got worse and worse and worse until we had a couple of deaths in the family and even the loop down gets worse. Oh, yeah, yeah. And finally, I had to get some long-term psychological help and really good psychologist with that. But it was still it was going to be a long journey. And then we had some more issues, more stuff happening… lost a lot of my support system just through family and other people moving out of the area as I got older.  And my brother, my only sibling, was diagnosed with cancer and he started that whole thing. So I'm taking care of his kids to help his wife and so yeah, it wasn't helping myself and I was going through the downhill and ended up losing a job because I was… so I just couldn't think straight because it messes with your head.

So yeah, I wasn't doing well. And one of the fantastic people at the neighbourhood centre said, you know what? You ought to contact Carers Queensland and talk about the NDIS and I thought, ‘that's not for me, I'm okay, I'm not in a wheelchair, I'm not this’. And I'd had reconstructive surgery on a foot which limited my –  I already had limited mobility from various injuries over the years and had one of those things corrected with my foot reconstruction.

I had a frog flipper, not a foot, well, that was fun. It's a lot better now… and so limited mobility on top of that is not going to help you with recovery from any of those things. And trying to take care of 300,000 people and, you know, yeah.

00:03:56:00

Emily (interviewer)

Everything just hit the perfect storm, didn't you?

00:04:01:00

Michelle

It did. And I think that's the thing. It wasn't. And one, I wasn't thinking that my initial problems, my original problems were bad enough. You don't you think I'm okay. There are people worse off than me and all the rest of it was just adding to that original problem because it impeded recovery. So I was in a huge downward spiral. I just didn't realize it at the time because you don't when you are depressed… cue the bad silent film music (laughs).  I can laugh about it now, but it is. It is, it is. This. It's a terrible spiral and it stops you thinking properly about yourself, your situation. You catastrophize, you get worse and worse and worse all the time. And my psychologist was trying to keep me afloat, but I needed extra help, and I just couldn't afford it.

And especially I was getting bits and pieces of work, which was nice. And especially as a 50-year-old menopausal woman with mental health issues, I was getting lower and lower in income work and on a casual basis because our world has changed and there's not that support systems. You don't have the extended family; you don't have the village.  More and more women are left on their own unless we cling to the wrong man or something. Some of us have. You know, some people are lucky enough to have a good man who helped them through all this. But I think we do, and we always have. And I mean, I've done a bit of historical study and a lot of women used to self-medicate and take laudanum and opium and all sorts of other things to shut themselves down.

My plan now is to write because I've always wanted to write and it doesn't matter if I never get published, but I'm doing the research. And also couple of other really lovely authors I've noted. They do write historical fiction and they're writing about like the 1830s, and there were these actual things like ‘ladies pink pills’ and when you look into a little bit of history, you go, holy crap, we've been self-medicating for a long time. And that's what was done because… or women got sent to the madhouse and things like that. So I think it was hidden away. Whereas now we've got the independence we can go, I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to stand for it or whatever. I'm not going to take it anymore. Yeah. We don't know what to do. I'm noticing it’s happening in very young people now. My niece has just turned 16 and she and her friends are all like, I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!

I'm sorry. You do it now, baby. Go for it! (laughs)

00:06:49:17

Cares QLD Announcement

Our School to Adult Life Transition Project aims to identify positive pathways for young people with disability as they move from school to adult life. To help us better design our programs for young adults and their families. Carers Queensland is proud to work with our new reference group of young adults from different regional areas who have finished school and are exercising choice and control at home. Study, work and in their communities. The Amplifying Young Voices Reference group who share vital knowledge gained from lived experience to inform ideas for supporting young people who are still at high school to overcome barriers and feel empowered to plan for their adult life. To find out more, get in touch, or look for events and opportunities coming up near you. Visit our website at www.carersqld.com.au or call our inquiries line on 1300 999636.

00:07:52:00

Michelle

Without this, I think if I was just still getting psychological help and medication, I would still be way back in the journey. Yet acknowledging that depression is a part of my mental makeup, that this is this is my neurochemistry. So I will probably be on medication for the rest of my life. Okay. So like a diabetic. So a lot of people, you know, and especially as you get older, lots of people are on Ferren and all this other thing and we don't make any fuss about it.  It's come and gone throughout my life. It's always been there. The PTSD was always there because certain things, I do not want to go into them, in my childhood and young life. But yeah, it was not as bad as some kids get, but it was enough that it was terrifying and…

But anyway…. Yeah So it was really good to have somebody who was local to the area.  They understood how little we have here, that you don't have all those people here all the time. We have visiting people. We have people… my psychologist is in Rockhampton.

I've been able to maintain work for most of the last two years, two different employers going from one to the other. One recommended to… I became redundant with one and they said, hang on, we've got three people who want to recommend you to the first one who called me back, they said, we’ll take you. So two weeks later I was still employed.

The other thing is I started being a… and it got me out… because I was with NDIS and I was getting all this extra help, I was getting out. I got help to go to things. We've got a lovely thing at the neighbourhood centre they do day to day, which is their program, and it's just getting people who are housebound.  Started out with mental health issues, but it's people who just can't get out very much. And you have a nice group of people. You know these people. We've got one lovely lady. She's in a wheelchair. She has dementia. I've known her since I was a kid, went to school with her daughter who was like a year ahead of me. And she comes and she's talking about her husband in the present tense. He's been gone for… you know, we don't care. We're not going to correct her because she loves talking about him.

00:10:27:00

Emily

Yeah. Special, right?

00:10:30:08

Michelle

And she'll start talking about her child, her young womanhood. And it's like she's there again and she's got the most amazing stories, and we'll just listen. Okay, That's great. Tell us more. We've got some ladies who are going, you know, they’re now widowed, or they've divorced or whatever, and they're older and they're having some mobility as they are having real mobility issues and never going to go away.

And they can come along and they get out and they have great chat and they'll bring their knitting, sewing, whatever. And you know, the rest of us might be doing gardening around the place… that was a lifeline to me. I don't go as often now because I don't need to. And also I'm working and but I'll go when I can. And I love catching up with them and they're just the most amazing, it's mostly women. There's a few guys, especially at the gardening part, when we have gardening days and they're marvellous and they see a little village, right? That's my village, all these things.

It's this perfect storm the other way, because the NDIS has helped me to get to these things. They help me to get to appointments with my doctor to make calls. I have never been this because I've always said, okay, I'm healthy. I have to leave this now because somebody else will need it. I should be able to do this. Acknowledging that cycle has been a big part of it, that it's okay to ask for help when you have a mental health issue. It is as serious as having my foot reconstruction. It is as serious as my friends who have permanent mobility issues. It is as serious as some of my friends who have permanent heart problems and diabetes and all these other things that have come about because they had kids when they were in maternity care that there is now.

00:12:38:00

Michelle (continued)

It's not part of life. You are worth it. And… when I used to say… put on your own bloody oxygen mask first and I can actually do more now than I could when I was struggling through, if you want to really be of help to your family and you want to really be there for the people you love long term. Now, I don't put up with this. It not only stops you helping others, it stops you helping yourself and it stops your joy. I enjoy life now. I could not say that for probably the 20 years before. (Wow.) I muddled through. Imagine having not only taking care of people, but having joy in what you do and being able to do it without the levels of pain, without the levels of depression I used to put up with and think, this is just it and this is going to it's going to be a downhill slide from here. No, it isn't. I'm getting back to doing things. I may not do them at the level I did once upon a time when I was 20. But I'm now getting back into things that I used to do. The plan is to go horse-riding yet to be fit enough to ride a horse again because I have lots of friends with horses and there are lots of places you can go. Well, I can take a holiday and go on a horse, ride.

00:14:14:00

Emily

What, what feeling is it that you have now that you haven't had for 20 years?

00:14:19:00

Michelle

It’s being able to look at myself and go, you know what? I deserve better and not be angry about it. Go. I know I can do something about that and therefore I'm better able to support my niece now that she's heading to young womanhood.  Imagine who you could be if this wasn't your day-to-day life. Go call Care's Queensland. That's all I could say.

00:14:48:00

Carers QLD announcement

LAC Connect:  It's a new way to stay in touch with your Local Area Coordinator, Carers Queensland with everything you need right here on your device. It's a handy app to keep track of your LAC appointments, browse workshops and events, check out information and support, and get the latest news, stories and podcasts. It's available on Android and iOS, so whatever device you have, you can stay in touch. Head to our website to sign up at carersqld.com.au and look for LAC Connect.

00:15:20:17

Tracy (continued)

Well at 64 years of age, Gold Coast resident David is kicking goals, literally.  After experiencing a traumatic upbringing and early adult life, David has found hope and strength through exercise and a strong sense of self-belief and will power.  Whether running marathons, playing AFL or making the leap as a tandem skydiver, David continues to motivate many. I started by asking David about the positive influence of exercise in managing mental health.

00:15:45:21

David (interviewee)

When we look at exercise, there's so many positive benefits in relation to that, bearing in mind, as I said, that I was classified as being permanently incapacitated. So when I was told that I could have accepted the decision by so-called experts, that that's the way it's always going to be, yet somehow, I found the willpower, I found the inner strength in myself to say, “No” … I've got determination and willpower here. I can actually do exercise. I'm not going to be, accept the garbage that I’m permanently incapacitated for life. So I took on challenges.  And from being regarded as being permanently incapacitated, I've now completed ten Gold Coast full marathons. And in those experiences, I've been able to meet other people, which is, and they've shared their experiences with me, which has been… showed me that life isn't just all about me.

About five years ago, six years ago, someone at the local parkrun said to me, ‘Look, you're doing well at the running. Why don't you take up Australian Rules Football?’ And I said, ‘Look, I'm 57 years old. I've never played football in my life’. And they said, well, just call here, go. And I rang up the coach of the local club and he said to me, look, come along. And I went there. And what happened was, instead of the situation with me regarded as a so-called leper and different from everyone else, here I was with a group of people I've never met before, and the coach looked after me and the other players. I didn't know their backgrounds. They looked after me and I looked after them.

So when I did something, well, they gave me a clap and after each training session, we gave each other high fives and clapped each other's hands… and I did things wrong, I made mistake after mistake after mistake. They said, well, put your head up. You're right. And they said, you'll be fine. And they really put their arms around me and supported me. And that led to the point where I'll never forget my first ever match. I used to like playing. I used to like watching games, but I never knew what it was like actually playing. I ran onto the ground and there I was. I wasn't looking from the outside anymore. There I was actually playing. It seemed like a surreal experience and somehow the ball came in my direction and I leapt and I took a mark and then I somehow was able to kick a goal. And I just stood there, completely stunned by the whole experience. And the other players went around me and the tradition sort of thing that they squirt water in the face of the person who kicks their first ever goal. And they were doing that. It was just such a lift, so, so special. I thought it was a really proud achievement.

And at times over the last two years, knowing they've been, knowing they're my true family, it's meant a huge amount to me and even to the point where this year in February, it was where I was in such a bad way in an emotional sense and really, really struggling with life. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. So there I was at 4:00 in the afternoon one time and I somehow found the energy, the determination, the willpower in myself, which I believe everyone has listening to this… and I was able to go to the training. And there I was, and I was regarded as an equal by them. And it means such a huge amount to me to be with them. So I was able to go very quickly from a period of hopelessness and helplessness to being as an equal with these other people.

I think it's important, as I said before, about not to feel self-pity, but to look at life and to not look at what we can't do, but look at what we can do, it’s such an important, such a vital message I'm trying to put across to you and anyone else who's listening. Look at what we can do? So, sure, I can't ride…  I'm not… I can't drive a car, but I can walk.  I'm not good around the house like in a tradesman. I don't know how to use electric drill or anything like that, but I can create it if I've got… in my lounge room, I was able to create a message and do some drawing and I've got a message there which says, “Imagine hope, love and respect”.

So for everyone, if you were to come into my place one time there you would see. So using talents we everyone has in our own way, someone might be really good with pets or something like that and really have a wonderful time with pets. And that's something like I when I was volunteering one time an aged care facility, I went there once a week and I was seeing these people and a bad situation to really struggled with various issues and the aged care facility and someone came along with it with their dog and the smiles on their face for these people when they're with these with this beautiful dog was just it was just heavenly.

It's something I'll never forget.

So actually finding that hope is such a vital element of that, and being able to find that

strength as well. Well, I've launched nine YouTube videos now, for example, “Exercise or Die – David Harris”. It's got a rainbow-coloured design.  And even last week, “Habits and Addictions” – David Harris again with the rainbow-coloured design. And in those I talk about the importance of hope –  that’s something like I say in one of them – I think when people are really struggling, even if they're not, it could be a divorce or something like that, or issues with their children or anything like that and actually writing the word hope on a piece of paper, but actually having it written in every room in the house where you are and with whenever you go out, you have that word hope written on a piece of paper, so you can refer to that.

So things might be going very badly wrong and able to look at that word. Wherever you go, you find the word hope and that gives you a motivation to continue. Without hope, there is no life.

I think it's important that the willpower to understand that the willpower is within each of us. We are born with it. So it's a matter of it not it's not a matter of finding it from someone else's, but actually taking time and actually being aware that you do have that willpower. I do have that willpower to do things like in theory, without that willpower, everyone would just stay in bed. It was inside and everyone has it within, within and within themselves to be able to have a look at that and actually write down, say, I do have the willpower, the willpower and determination to do anything I have. So they actually can actually, as part of affirmations, which I think are extremely important, to even look in the mirror each day and say, I do have the willpower to do anything.

00:21:08:00

Carers QLD announcement

Carers Queensland is growing inclusion, awareness and opportunities for people with disability and where better to grow things than the garden? We're working with community gardens to improve accessibility and make sure people of all abilities can get their hands dirty. We're starting conversations about what the community wants and needs and how we can work together to give everyone the place to put down roots and bloom.

Find out more. Get in touch or look for events and opportunities coming up near you. Visit our website at www.carersqld.com.au Or call our inquiries line on 1300 999636.

00:21:53:19

David (continued)

In terms of the impact of exercise on my mental health? What it does… I can be having a really bad day like I have so often, like have had so often. And when I do the exercise, such as running or playing football, it makes, I think the expression is dopamine. I think that’s the term –   it's a feel-good feeling. It's a really good feeling. So I could be having a really bad day. And by doing the exercise I feel better about my life. It gives me a really good feeling about myself, often about life. So it has that impact of exercising with other people… I want to stress that. There is a difference between exercising by yourself, which has its benefits in a way.

But outdoor exercise. So have other people, meeting other people, like you can be going on 5k run or something like that, or even a 3k walk and you see other people, some might be walking their dogs, people of all ages. You might see a 90-year-old, you might see a five-year-old, people like that. So it has that feel that impact of feeling good about life? It also helps in terms of sleep being able to sleep after the exercise, after exercising in the morning. It's exercise. Generally it's regarded as being more beneficial and the first thing in the morning, it's a great way to start the day. He might have a various task to do during the day and then by having started off the day with by doing exercise, think, okay, well I can do anything today.

So that’s one of the benefits. And that sense also what might what can be happen in another way is someone might have a lot of anger built up inside them for whatever reason. They could be really angry. I don't know what the lie for politicians or a partner or anything like that. And a real lot of frustration and anger really building up inside, you know, how can I release this? So I'm actually using exercise. That way you can release the anger in a healthy way.

So it's important to keep your brain active and also your body active. So that's the impact it's had on me. So it's a matter of like the moment you stop, you're actually going backwards. So without the exercise, without doing that, running those marathons and without playing a football team and I'm going I did also played football for a while, indoor soccer, and it's something I'm really looking forward to doing again soon by doing it.

But its impact on me has been as equals. When I'm with a team, a sense of freedom and release of frustration when I'm doing it by myself, that's important. Elements and I stress to people that when it comes to exercise, sure, you might think, oh, look, I'm not really into running. I'm more into swimming or polarities as regard is becoming more and more common these days. There are a few places in on the Gold Coast and are doing it more and more now, or yoga or things like that. Great. That's and you're doing that with other people. That's fantastic. So you find Europe what interests you and you can do that and think okay and meeting other people and then you can take up other activities something in you and even tried before.

So that's an important part of being in contact with other people, of being so made such a positive impact on myself and on other and social connection with meeting other people. And I can't emphasize enough it's outdoor exercise. Rather than being at a gym, you may as well. I'm doing an exercise at home, the gym. It's best to be outdoors and do things with other people. That's more 99% more beneficial than doing it at a gym or by all by yourself and it's a matter of, like I said earlier about describing who you are about areas you could be involved in the community. I'll just give another I'll give another example with the Currumbin Wildlife Hospital down here on the Gold Coast.

And what I do, and it's something where every year I do volunteering, gift wrapping, there's a shopping centre with the proceeds go into the Currumbin Wildlife Hospital. And what it is by doing that I'm out there in the community every Christmas and have Mother's Day as well. It's a sense of spreading them. I'm being with other people, other volunteers there and some professional as well.

And I'm actually contributing something like I think the Christmas one is an important one. For example, to the not first year I did it, I did. I felt, oh, I don't know if I've got the confidence to do this to the to do the gift wrapping. And I made mistakes, and they looked after me. The people that the people who were doing gift wrapping and rather than feeling sorry for myself, for thinking, okay, this is Christmas, my family abandoned me. I've got anyone to look after or no one to look after me. But I actually feeling sorry for myself instead, I think, okay, I'll wrap up these presents, put a smile on my face while I'm doing it. And I actually, over time learned to be quite good in life. A very good insight, even if I do say so myself. Doing the gift wrapping with so many people going to the shopping centre and doing these the gift wrapping. So it means that on the actual Christmas Day each year for the last few years, rather than sitting at home and feeling sorry for myself, thinking of poor me, I've got, you know, about I've missed out and no, no family to look after and all of that.

And what's happened to me in the past instance, a beautiful feeling, a special feeling, knowing that on that day, on Christmas Day, so many people are unwrapping presents that I've wrapped. That's a positive thing. And with the Currumbin Wildlife Hospital, I come and the Crumlin Wildlife Sanctuary itself, there is so many beautiful people who work there and the animals and everything.

It's my favourite animal, by the way, is a wombat. And they're just they're just so beautiful and as kangaroos there and all of that, it's just so really special to be involved like that. And the people who are you say you're listening to this and some ways they can contribute in organizations such as their whole being out involved with, with wildlife or things like that, and actually being a being out of yourself and actually being and that someone who might be interested in he's a good listener or something, I couldn't be there for, for people who just like to talk but can be, can be, you know, like, like some baby, someone's very artistic and there's so many areas we can be involved in, organizations where we can always looking for volunteers as a that's a beautiful expression, but sort of the other day is when you're actually doing volunteering, when you're giving to other people, the feel good factor is just incredible. It's like the expression I use is when you do volunteering, when you're giving to other people, you're giving someone a proverbial glass of water, receiving a glass of champagne in return.

00:29:46:10

Carers QLD announcement

Thanks for listening Choice and Control, a Carers Queensland podcast. If this episode has raised any concerns for yourself or someone you know, please call Lifeline on 131114 or Beyond Blue on 1300224636.

If you have enjoyed this podcast episode, please take a moment to leave a rating and review and share it with your community. For more information about the National Disability Insurance Scheme or Carers Queensland, contact us online at www.carersqld.com.au  or Call us on 1300999636 or head to Facebook and look for Carers Queensland NDIS.